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Thou Shall Not Have a Mullet

Thou Shall Not Have a Mullet

The Mulllet, the iconic haircut of the eighties, we all agree it is an abomination and yet it lingers, it lurks, it lopes on the streets, in our homes, on the beaches and in the trenches. Even the word is abhorrent – muuuhhhleehtttt.

So why do some insist on keeping the haircut. Is it an act of rebellion against society? Is it a cry for help? Is it a do-it-yourself haircut for people with extremely short arms?

Whatever the reason, we decided to fly in the face of fashion and embrace the mullet for the purpose of this blog post.

And it’s not just us westerners who believe the mullet should be banned. Iran has declared the mullet a decadent western hairstyle.

Now let’s be fair, the mullet didn’t just pop out of eighties culture along with shoulder pads and perms. The mullet has a long and illustrious history, dating all the way back to the Sphinx. If it’s good enough for a lion-bird-type-thingies who’s to say it’s not good enough for us mere mortals.

The Assyrians, Persians and Greeks all wore mullets proudly. Until the Romans came along, grabbed them by their mullet and slit their throats. Ok this is a bit of a stretch given they all came from different periods of history, but this is a hair blog – not a history blog!

However, It is a true historical fact that mullets were banned from the Roman army for this reason. You can use this fact to persuade mullet wearers to cut it off before someone slits their throat. You’re welcome.

David Bowie Iggy Stardust MulletIcons of fashion have been documented wearing  a mullet. David Bowie, always ahead of the style, brought us the mullet as early as the 70s, in his alien-rockstar-alter ego Ziggy Stardust. We forgive Ziggy, this was possibly the only cool mullet – ever.

During the heyday of the mullet, the eighties, the world’s most derided hairstyle was most popular amongst pop stars and footballers.

Thankfully the eighties are over. But the mullet lives on and nowhere is it more popular than with rednecks. Wait – if a redneck has a mullet is he still technically a red neck – because…

Bruce Jenner wore a mullet before he became Kaitlyn. It was obviously a sign of his inner dilemma: to be a woman or not to be a woman.

Brad Pitt Mullet


A great many rich and famous have been seen with mullets, from Bono to Brad Pitt, yes we said Brad Pitt.

Still hot – mullet or not.

Now there are many mullet wearers who stand tall and proud of their “party in the back”, there’s even a song about this revered and reviled hairstyle.

Do you got a mullet a mullet going on? Do you got a mullet is it beautiful big and long?

well If you got a mullet there’s no need to hide cause it’s plain to see just so plain to me that we just need mullet pride

Or perhaps they just need a great hairstylist to show them what a good haircut can do to take their appearance from ‘meh’ to ‘mee-oow’.

As professional hairstylists, we cannot promote the mullet, but as fashion savvy individuals we know that yesterday’s style may one day come back with a new twist.

Flares anyone?

For now though, we advise all people of the universe to unite in the defense against bad hair and declare with us: Thou shalt not have a mullet.

Need an updated look? Contact Plan B for a hair appointment today!

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